The Super Bowl according to Meana

My friends have opted to go to a bar tonight and I rather like hearing the game and commercials, so I'm skipping that and although I'm not liveblogging the Super Bowl, I am going to post a running commentary (although not in real time, that's a little past my blogging skill-level right now).

• Jennifer Hudson's National Anthem was AMAZING! They should always have her for the Super Bowl.
  
• Two commercials in a row with people being thrown through plate glass windows. Sucks for them.
• Props LeBron!
  
• Can't wait for Angels & Demons, even though it won't be as good as the book.
  
• Love the Clydsdales...I think they did a great job with those this year.
• What's up with the diet soda for men commercial?...whatever.
• Not a good start for the Cardinals so far (start of the 2nd quarter).
• I imagine Go Daddy's site has crashed again this year.
  
• It's difficult to pay attention to the tv, write this and still respond to my sister who's chatting with me on facebook.
• I've never even heard of the Genesis until tonight.
• Love the talking babies!
• Totally want to see Up!
• What's the deal with Larry Fitzgerald not having any catches?
• Haha teleflora...the talking tulips were funny!
• I think I'm applying for NFL's Director of Pandemonium.
• Finally Larry Fitzgerald gets a catch with 43 seconds left in the half.
• Keep forgetting to watch the commercials...I'm so used to not watching them on the dvr or using that time to check email, do a couple things around the house, etc.
• Yikes, just when things were looking like the Cardinals were going to turn it around...100 yard interception, the longest play in NFL Super Bowl history.
  
• Don't have 3D glasses to watch those commercials.
• Haven't had any dinner...just guac and chips. Maybe I should do something about that. Taking a short break @ halftime and will come back for Part II.
  

If you really knew me...

How would you complete the statement?

Ok, I know my posts have been a little Oprah-centric lately, but what can I say...she's got some thought-provoking stuff! She had a show this week with overweight teens and they did this workshop with their parents and had to complete the sentence, "If you really knew me, you'd know..." It was a powerful exercise for everyone and I was amazed at the courage they showed to stand up and complete the statement, not only in front of their parents, but in front of a bunch of cameras and basically the world.

I thought there were lots of ways that I could complete the statement. Many of them I wouldn't post here for the world to read (although, admittedly my world has a lot smaller reach than Oprah's), but I have been kicking around something for awhile. So here it goes...If you really knew me, you'd know that even though I'm Catholic, I don't really believe in the Catholic Church. I go to mass and most weeks it's a peaceful place where I feel connected to my faith and God. But there are weeks when the homily makes me want to get up and walk out of the place.

Two Sundays ago, I got to church a few minutes before mass and asked a couple if I could get around them to get into the middle of the pew. The guy --probably in his 50s-- moved, but the woman with him, told him just to scoot in and let me have the end. The guy was clearly irritated, understandably, I think. This week happened to be a letter writing campaign to oppose abortion (without exception) and I was dreading the postcards making their way down the pew toward me because I didn't want to tell this guy I've already annoyed that I didn't need a postcard. Mercifully, the postcards ran out before they got to me so I avoided the awkward moment, but I was so uncomfortable that I wondered if I would go back. After the homily, during the Profession of Faith, I thought about the words I was saying and realized I believed it...mostly. I keep getting stuck on the Catholic Church part. It's hard for me to support an organization that in practice, perpetuates and institutionalizes discrimination in a variety of ways. It's an old boys network that designed to protect it's privilege. Even though I struggle and wrestle with these issues regularly, I keep going back. And this Sunday, I went back and listened to a homily on forgiveness. I left at peace, wondering if the feeling was encouraging me to show forgiveness or if I was the one being forgiven.

Titles

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

--Martin Luther King Jr.

To answer the question of my good friend, Amy, this post is about why I titled my blog as I did and who I'm telling so. She's correct in guessing that in this blog, I'm both telling myself and my readers so, depending on the post. I wanted something to capture what I'd be writing about. When I realized the blog had no theme and would really be more stream of consciousness, I went as broad as possible. In retrospect, I might have thought twice about the title. While I've been known as bossy, pretty much my whole life, the title implies judgment.

Meana comes from my sister, who is seven years younger than I. After one argument, she was complaining about me to my parents, telling them how mean I was and she started calling me Meana to be annoying. She used it often enough that somewhere along the way, I reclaimed it for myself, shared it as a nickname in grad school and it stuck. Oooh, maybe I'll write something as Kiki (another nickname embraced by friends, even if not by me), but I digress.

If along the way, I express judgment toward others, I'll claim it's my alter ego, Meana. Having said that, judgment isn't the purpose, nor the intent of this page. I trust my friends (really, who else would be reading?) will take me to task if the outcome crosses the line too often.

I pledge...

...allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands: one Nation, under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

How many times did I recite that pledge as a little girl with my hand over my heart? I have no idea. But I know that I haven't said it for a very long time. It's been that long since I believed that in this Nation, there was liberty and justice for all. I won't belabor the point by citing the everyday injustices that as I became aware of them, chipped away at that belief and replaced it with cynicism, a little at a time. Some of you will read this and never have heard me say any of this. That's because a part of that cynicism was invisible, even to me. It's difficult to articulate intangibles that are missing from your life; until they appear, and you wonder where they were all along. The other part, I wouldn't have said aloud, for fear of other's judgment or appearing unpatriotic. For it wasn't patriotism, in the true sense of love for my country, that I lacked, it was the absence of the belief that in this country, freedom and equality were accessible to everyone.

Today is a new day. I watched as a Nation came together and witnessed a historic event. I watched people articulate what it felt to finally feel a part of this country, for the first time. I felt the pride and sentiment Lee Greenwood sings about in God Bless the USA. And while I realize that this happened, not because, today Barack Obama became the 44th President of the United States, but, because my perceptions shifted and I changed.

Then I came home and watched Oprah's episode from yesterday (stick with me...this is going somewhere, I promise)! If you didn't see it, you should check out Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher's video that was featured. Now before you totally write this post off as just me getting sucked into our celebrity-obsessed culture, you should know that I was totally inspired by their concept. So after watching that and after watching history being made today, I pledged a few things of my own. Below you will find my pledge and just maybe, you'll watch the video and feel compelled to write your own pledge and post it for others to read.

I pledge to donate my time to one organization this year that will promote and encourage Latinos in Indiana to explore higher education as a post-secondary option. I pledge to donate 1 lb. of food to a local food pantry for every pound I lose. I pledge to, every week, turn off the TV for one night and do something more meaningful. I pledge to think of myself as, not just Puerto Rican, but, an American (yes, Michael Strahan may have said it first, but it was important not to leave it out, especially if you've read my 16 Things note). I pledge to remember that I am an educator, even on the most difficult, frustrating days at work, and that everyday my goal is to learn more than I could ever teach.

Are you thinking about your pledge yet?

Inspired

I'm very excited about Barack Obama as our next President. I've always had respect for those with the courage to want that job. Beside daunting, I would think it would be very isolating and not something I would wish for myself or anyone I love. But if this were my aspiration, I could see why the stress and sacrifice would be overshadowed by the call to act.

Why I am an idiot

While I hope this will be the last blog post with this title, my past history dictates that this will be one in a fairly long string of ridiculousness that I bring on myself. So, I'm not feeling the greatest and I decide I'm going to draw myself a bath, light some candles and run the bath. I can't find the stopper so I go off in search of it. Storage is limited here and there really are only so many places it could be. Since I can't find it, I go to the kitchen to find a tupperware lid or some suitable substitute to plug the drain. As SOON as I return to the bathroom (after about 10 minutes), my stupidity is staring me in the face. I can see the smoke coming from one of the candles that I so intelligently placed on the bottom of the plastic molded shelving in the tub which holds all my shampoos and assorted other grooming necessities. The shelving is hollow and at this point the candle has burned through the bottom layer of that top shelf (I hope my landlord doesn't find this post)! Calamity Jane -- my parents called me this throughout my childhood, more stories for another time -- strikes again! The good news is that it did no other damage, you can't see the hole unless you are sitting in the tub and looking up at the underside of the shelf and I did eventually take my bath. But, really?!?

2009: My new year

This is my first blog entry. I have friends, all from different times in my life, who blog and who have encouraged me to begin blogging. I don't know if they believe my blog will be particularly interesting or if they hope that in writing here, there will be less of my external processing or venting for them to listen to. This is the plight of the single life...coming home with unresolved issues from the day and no one there to hear them, sort them, comfort you through them or tell you to get over it. There's the dog, but his skills in these areas are somewhat limited. I have kept a diary at different times in my life, but I never quite kept up. There are quite a few volumes with large gaps of time, hard to say whether those gaps marked the brightest, darkest, busiest or simply routine times of my life. Therefore, I make no promises as to the frequency of my postings. And so, my first attempt begins.

I'm a planner, I like to have a plan, know what's next and where I'd eventually like to end up. I even know that in doing so, I might end up somewhere totally unexpected. My plans for 2009 have not gone quite as I hoped so far. It's made me realize that life is all about lessons learned (in my case, sometimes over and over again). I keep thinking, "this seems familiar, have I not been here already once or twice in my 36 years?" It's about disappointments and victories, love and loss, stability and change, trying again and moving on. And even though I know all of these things, I find myself in a place I couldn't predict I would be. I would have thought that for 10 days, my life might go as planned. Tomorrow is a new day, I'm off to make some plans...